New Years Eve 2009: The "What Not To Wear" Blog

So the best thing about celebrating New Year's Eve at Sharkeez last night (besides the excellent company of my girls Chelsea, Jen and Bri) was people watching. We saw quite a few people who should make resolutions to do one of the following in 2010:

• Buy a mirror
• Take a buddy shopping (preferably one with better taste)
• Audition for "What Not to Wear" and get Clinton and Stacey's help
  

After you've reviewed these examples, if you don't understand what I'm getting at, see the list above.

Let's start with the employees. This is the hostess....



Now, I totally GET that this is your typical college hook-up club-wear bar, but I'm worried you're gonna get your walkie-talkie all tangled up in those fabric strips, and what a hot mess that would be.

Speaking of hot mess....



The last time I checked, there is only ONE Lady Gaga. YOU are not her. Please find the rest of your clothes and quit offending everyone in a 50 mile radius.

And these are just...just....indefensible!





No, no no.....NOT the shoes. I gotta admit, I'm having a little moment of shoe envy right now. I'm referring to the sequined explosion you're calling pants. If your goal with this outfit was getting your date to stare at your ass all night, CONGRATS! Mission accomplished. But I gotta say, even if I had your ass, this is the last thing I would put on it.

And FYI...HE doesn't seem to understand those pants either.

You, my spiky haired friend, are a reject from Jersey Shore.



Please refrain from buying anything with Ed Hardy on it until further notice, and you may look a LITTLE less like a complete douche.

Oh, honey! You're clearly gay, so you MUST have something better in your closet. Please put it on....NOW.



And finally, if this EVER happens to me, I beg someone to take me into the woods, but a gun to my head and end it.



Have a FASHIONABLE New Year!