The Thought Locker: Crazy Weekend Edition

• Having the elevator door open just as you push the button is one of life's simple pleasures.

• Who decided peanuts are the best snack to serve on planes anyway?

• When you are confronted by multiple idiot drivers on your way to work, it's a sign you should just go home.

• How can you burn the candle at both ends? Only one end has a wick.

• Anyone who thinks you can't train cats to do stupid tricks as easily as dogs hasn't spent much time on YouTube.

• Why does the first stretch of sunny weather have to make my skin drier than the Sahara? All I want to do is put the top down on my car! I have to moisturize too?

• Only a Facebook application can turn my sister into my 11 year old nephew's "Lover of the Day."

• No matter how much I plan otherwise, I will always wait until the week before my taxes are due...to do them.