The Thought Locker - Post-Thanksgiving-Holiday Sickness Monday Blues Edition

• You know how people always tell you when you're having a tough time, "Just sleep on it. Everything will look better in the morning." Sometimes that works. Sadly, today it did not.
  

• When I woke up at 4 AM from 8 hours of drug induced coma, my first 5 minutes of consciousness included these thoughts, in no particular order - "I should get up right now...if I get up now I'll be a zombie by 2 pm....didn't get the laundry done last night...what the hell am I going to wear today...do I have clean pants or do I have to shave my legs?...crap! Addie's birthday is Thursday and I haven't sent a gift yet...where is that Pottery Barn Kids catalog....ugh, I can't breathe....*cough, cough, cough* now where is the Kleenex....haven't ordered Christmas cards yet...wonder how much I'll have to suck up for rush shipping...do I really only have 3 weeks until I leave for Christmas?...hmmm, I'm in Irvine Tuesday for a meeting, so I COULD go see the Kings-Ducks game at Honda Center....arrghh that might be pushing it...you still feel like crap....screw it, I'm going back to bed."
  


• I wish there was a way to download the feelings you have during the best and worst moments in your life and save them for later. That way, when you're having a pity party along the lines of "I've never felt this sick in my life" you can go back to that previous time, relive the feelings and compare them to what you're experiencing now. It would really help me know whether I'm truly on the brink of death or not that sick and just complaining too much.
  

• I just smeared Chap-Stick on my nose. Even with lotion-infused tissue, I still look like Rudolph and I can't stand it. My regular moisturizer isn't helping, so it was time for plan B. No idea if this will actually work or not. Then again, maybe supermodels have been keeping this a secret for years and were just too embarrassed to tell anyone it helps.

• One unexpected benefit of cold medication containing anti-histamines is the temporary elimination of my oily skin. I normally would have blotted and re-powdered the shiny spots a couple of times by now, but I'm dry as the Sahara.

• Sometimes there just isn't enough Starbucks in the world to make it better....