The loss of a friend, especially one your age, stops you cold and makes you examine your life. Are you doing enough personally and professionally? Are you giving enough of yourself to the issues you care about? Are you wasting time chasing things that aren't important instead of spending it with the people you love?
I started confronting these questions when my friend Jon Moncrief passed away May 19th at the far-too-young age of 43, the victim of pulmonary thrombosis - a clot in his lungs which made him unable to breathe and suddenly ended his life. I haven't stopped thinking about him, and those issues, ever since.
Jon was one of the many friends I've made through hockey. We met at a Kings tweet-up at at the 2009 draft where I shared my love of the game and Jon shared his considerable knowledge about the sport.
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| What a Tweet-up crew! |
He was a sportswriter by trade and a sports fanatic for fun. Unlike some people who write about sports for a living, when you had a conversation with Jon he always spent as much time listening to what you had to say as trying to dazzle you with his insight. It's not because he didn't have any. What I know about hockey could fit into a thimble compared to the vast knowledge and experience Jon had to share. He listened because he was genuinely interested in other people, and despite the objectivity required by his job, he enjoyed sharing his unbridled love of the sport.
During the Kings season, Jon and I had a little routine. He would come down from the press box and meet me on the concourse to chat about the game and dissect what we thought the Kings need to do differently. Sometimes other friends joined us, and sometimes it was just Jon and me. No matter what the game outcome, it was always fun because of those visits.
But the special thing about Jon is that his interest in people went beyond sports. He was a true and genuine friend who would text or call you out of the blue just to say hello and see how you were doing. Jon understood what was important in life and committed his time and energy to doing what he loved and looking after the people important to him. He was truly an example of someone who spent his time LIVING. He knew how to focus on what mattered even when real world problems threatened to get in the way.
I am grateful for the friendship we shared, on and off the ice. I know for certain I will never attend a Kings game again that I don't think of him and miss him terribly. I can still hear his laugh echoing in my head. I already miss his smile and his good-bye hugs.
I was watching "The Bucket List" on my day off last week, a few days before I learned of Jon's death. In the movie, the two main characters are sitting on top of a pyramid discussing the ancient Egyptians' beliefs about entry into heaven, and thinking of that movie scene now makes me think of Jon.
Morgan Freeman's character Carter shares this message with Jack Nicholson's Edward:
"You know, the ancient Egyptians had a beautiful belief about death. When their souls got to the entrance to heaven, the guards asked two questions. Their answers determined whether they were able to enter or not. 'Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others?'"
Jon Moncrief would be able to say yes to both those questions. Heaven is a friendlier place with him in it. And the sports talk is certainly better.
Rest in peace, my friend.
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