Clarity

I worry / I weigh three times my body

I worry / I throw my fear around

But this morning / there's a calm I can't explain

The rock candy's melted / only diamonds now remain

- "Clarity" by John Mayer

A girl who likes to sleep sits at a computer at 2 AM, awake.   For weeks, her head has been full of big ideas, random thoughts, musings on life.  They come at odd times, sometimes slowly and only in brief flashes.  Sometimes they flood in faster than she can handle.  She wants to get them down, figure out what they mean, and ultimately share them, but the words don't come without effort.  Not the right words anyway.  And that stops her from writing them down, from making sense of them.  It stops her from sharing anything.

Sometimes she lays awake at night trying to figure out why.  When did the roadblock happen?  What got in the way and brought everything to a grinding halt?  Then she realizes she knows what happened, what shook her confidence, dealt a blow to her faith in herself. 

She knows what happened doesn't matter now.  What matters is that she lost her vision for her life.  Everything got out of focus for a while.  Like flying through clouds, it was hard to see too far in front of her until she soared just a little higher and got over the obstacles.  Now things have become clear once again, and she knows where she is going.  So it's time to hit the reset button, put the past in the rear view mirror -- and move forward.  And start writing....

That girl is me.  What happens now?  Stick around and we'll see....