At one point this weekend in the car, with one or the other of the girls crying or fussing, Tanya turned to me and said something to the effect that I must breathe a sigh of relief when I get on the plane to LA and head back to the peace and quiet of my regular life. I smiled an admitted I did. And because we know each other so well, she gave me a smile back.
It’s not a knock on her girls, because they’re great children. But raising kids in general is an exercise in the daily control of chaos, and I just know I’m not up to the task. Even when you are highly organized, efficient, caring, and patient (and Tanya is ALL of those things), parenting is hard. Watching her with the girls, I have so much respect and admiration for what she does. Listening to her quietly say “Addie, Momma can help you make good choices but you have to listen…” instead of doing what I would and yelling “PLEASE don’t do that!” Negotiating with Jerry to figure out who runs errands and who deals with Ava’s diaper, when they’re both in need of a nap and on the brink of exhaustion.
The thing I’ve come to understand is that parenting is a labor of love. I’ve known Tanya almost 12 years, and I can honestly say she’s never been more beautiful, never been happier. Watching her face light up when Ava smiles, or Addie learns to say a new word, I can see that in spite of the day-to-day struggles, she would rather be a mom than do anything else in the world.
Of course, she has a great mothering role model in Linda, who is so thoughtful she got me these beautiful embroidered hand towels as a housewarming gift. Being good at caring for people runs deep in the gene pool!
When I get bored with the peace and quiet of my life, I know where to come for the love. I miss my “Portland Family” already! Where is that other free pass for my next trip…?
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