The Plan

One of the few things I accomplished this past weekend was a closet purge. In addition to taking a trunk full of old clothes, shoes and miscellaneous crap to Goodwill, I went through 10 3-ring binders of stuff I've saved over the years. In my life before Google, I was an avid magazine reader, and saved a ton of articles (mostly from Martha Stewart Living) on everything from drought resistant plant varieties to tips on cleaning hardwood floors. You know...for that time in the future when I needed that information.

Since I haven't looked at most of it since I filed it (in some cases over 10 years ago), and now I can Google search and find more and better information even faster, I threw most of it out. Then I came across a binder full of crazy e-mails, work and relationship related humor, etc., I had printed and saved. Most of it has been recycled several times through (I still get e-mails defining my Zodiac sign) so it got pitched. But there were a few nuggets too priceless to throw away. And this is one of my favorites. I got it from a volunteer friend of mine back when I was with the March of Dimes, and I haven't worked there since 1994. In spite of it's age, this is still relevant. Amazing how very little changes in corporate America....

Enjoy your laugh for Monday!

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The Plan

In the beginning was the plan

And then came the assumptions

And the assumptions were without form

And the plan was without substance

And darkness was upon the face of the worker,

And they spoke among themselves, saying

"It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh!"

And the workers went unto the supervisor and said,

"It is a pail of dung, and none may abide by the odor thereof."

And the supervisors went unto the managers, saying

"It is a container of excrement, and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."

And the managers went unto their directors, saying

"It is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide by its strength."

And the directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another,

"It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong."

And the directors went unto the vice presidents, saying unto them,

"It promotes growth and is very powerful."

And the vice presidents went unto the president, saying unto him,

"This new plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company, with powerful effects!"

And the president looked upon the plan, and saw that it was good,

And the plan became policy.

This is how shit happens.